“What's the biggest struggle you see in couples today?” This is one of the most common questions couples therapists hear, and there’s...

Trigger warning: this post will be more explicit than usual. (It's excerpted from one of the schmoozeletter emails) Often, when working...

TW: This post references sexual trauma. “What’s the most common problem you see in couples?” someone asked me this weekend. Therapists...

Let’s consider this changed-to-protect-writer’s-identity question, as a springboard to address some issues that arise for couples around...

The Unconsummated Couple They present for therapy with so much shame, sometimes blaming themselves, sometimes each other, or just one of...

*This originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times" Dear Elisheva, I’m struggling with something affecting my marriage,...

*This was originally a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, My wife and I have been married for almost three years, and...

*This first appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, This message probably makes me sounds like a shallow,...

This was originally published as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times Dear Elisheva, My husband and I had discussed this when we were...

*This post was originally published as a State of Mind column in the Five Towns Jewish Times* Dear Elisheva, My family is in a...

*This is an excerpt from one of my schmoozeletter emails.* One of the more painful categories of work we do is talking with people who ...

It usually happens some time in the middle of a session. We’ll be discussing a couple’s intimate life, and I can see the consternation...

*This originally appeared in the Five Towns Jewish Times State of Mind column* Dear Elisheva, I would imagine my problem is not unique,...

The following is a conversation that comes up a lot with my couples in therapy: Me: So what would you say are the challenges you're...

Once upon a time, there was a young, sincere couple, who married and loved each other. But they had one problem: Even after a few years...

Trigger warning: this post discusses sexual trauma Zeesy, a 19-year-old newlywed, was referred for intense erotophobia- a fear of ...

This originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times. Dear Elisheva, I can’t decide whether my problem is marital or...

Atara and Azriel are trying to plan a vacation. For the first time since they had kids, they have a chance to get away just the two of...

There's something I've learned in the course of both my work and my spiritual studies has made a profound difference in the way I view...

“Do you know what it’s like to live with someone for six years and not even once have them initiate physical intimacy?” he asks. “Well,...

How do you decide when to start a family? How many kids to have? When to stop having kids? Even if we knew exactly how many kids we hoped...

(This post is adapted from a special edition schmoozeletter.) Last week, I posted what seems to have been a polarizing opinion on social...

Were you taught to believe that “divorce” is a curse word? That we don’t even say the “d” word? When I was a young, idealistic grad...

This will be a short, but I believe, very important post: One of the many awful results of inadequate, misinformed, or nonexistent sex...

Some men say it with embarrassment, others with indignance or frustration, and still others in defeat: “I’m not trying to be demanding or...

I really, really like pizza- it’s probably my favorite meal. In my neighborhood we have about half a dozen different pizza shops. My...

Have you ever noticed that some people will swear that therapy totally changed their lives for the better, and others will say they’ve...

Have you ever wondered how often people have sex? (I purposely used the nebulously awkward euphemism “be intimate” in the title because...

For so many couples, this is their million-dollar question. Hope for their relationship, for their future, hinges on the answer....

Couples therapy is intense work. Back in grad school, I had a professor say: “We’re not in the business of saving marriages. We’re in the...

Trigger warning: This post deals with sensitive topics relating to sexual abuse trauma. Ho-kay. This is not really my lane. I don’t treat...

Do you want to work on your relationship in therapy, but have a partner who just doesn’t want to go? Well, you’re not alone. This is a...

Trigger warning: this may be difficult to read for survivors of trauma. Proceed with caution: Gittel and Shuey have been married for...

An Infidelity Dilemma The following story was shared with me by an acquaintance who: Is not a therapy client of mine Specifically asked...

The phone rang, and a shy-sounding young woman introduced herself. “Hi. I’m not really sure if I need therapy. Could I tell you my issue,...

More Shovevim thoughts on enhancing marital intimacy: Something I have struggled with for a few years now is wanting to create and share...

Please Note: This post contains explicit content, is for mature readers only, and may be triggering for survivors of trauma. Fay and her...

As many of you know, one of the most important aspects of the work we do with couples and individuals, is treating the results and...

Tzivi came home from preschool and told her mom that her Morah had gotten upset at her that day. “Morah said I used a bad word. But I...

Really glad you asked. It’s very painful for a man with a healthy libido to be in a marriage where he feels undesired and constantly...

“I’m so happy and grateful- his Rebbe said he’s a meyuchad, a lamdan, really something special.” “I just want to do whatever is best for...

You know that feeling where you finish a conversation, and then a little later, mentally review it and wish you could go back and change...

Several years ago, I had been invited to an event that also featured a talk for kallah teachers, giving by a woman who trains them. At...

“Do You Ever Just Cuddle?” Yael’s arms are folded across her chest, and her legs tightly crossed as she describes her frustration: “I...

Shani prefaces her disclosure with discomfort: “This is not an easy thing to discuss. But it’s an issue for me. It has to do with...

My recent blog post “I’m Not Attracted to my Spouse” has attracted significantly more views, shares, and responses in its first week than...

Raizy, a soft-spoken 24 year old graphic designer, shifted in her seat, hesitant to share her next words. I waited, while she formulated...

Every year around this time, I wonder if this will be the year I try and “do something about it.” These are the weeks we call Shovevim...

What if my b’show didn’t work? This post will undoubtedly elicit strong reactions from readers on both sides of this issue. I want to...

This will be a short, not-so-sweet, but to-the-point post (bordering on rant). To some, what I’m about to say might be obvious, but to...