*This was originally a schmoozeletter email in 2021
Do you have any things that most people dislike but you kind of like?
For me, it's mosquito bites.
My kids laugh, because when I get mosquito bites, I get genuinely excited. They serve as a reminder that summer is here (or that we're visiting someplace warm and tropical- either way, happy place! I LOVE the sun.)
I'm not saying the bites don't itch, or that I'd want to be covered in them, or that I want you to have them, or for them to get infected or anything like that. Just that I have a weirdly positive association with them, and so even the itch becomes weirdly enjoyable for me.
I was thinking about mosquito bites while reading this week's Torah portion, because it features Bilaam, the evil-eyed prophet. He's commissioned by Balak, the fearful King of Moab, to curse the Jews (some things don't change.) He initially hesitates, knowing that G-d will disapprove of the plan, but ultimately goes along, with the caveat that he can only say what G-d puts in his mouth. (Please note: this excuse does not work in all social situations.)
Bilaam looks out over the camp of the Jews, and ends up reciting the "curses" he intended, but with a positive spin, so they come out as praises and blessings, much to Balak's chagrin.
They keep changing locations, hoping that maybe if they bring sacrifices and glare at the Jews from a different angle, the words will change, but no dice- G-d is the boss of Bilaam, regardless of where he stands, and so he continues with the involuntary blessings.
Now G-d didn't need to change Bilaam's words; he could have just upheld His own many blessings and ignored any curses uttered.
One of the many takeaway messages is that reality is what it is, but the way we "eye" it- how we narrate, describe, and relate to it, will affect and determine how we experience it, and sometimes how others do too.
There is a lovely Hebrew expression: ayin tova, which means "good eye"- the ability to look upon others with grace, wishing well on them, the opposite of envy or schadenfreude, which are expressed with the term "ayin hara" -evil eye. People who have ayin tova aren't threatened by your success- they rejoice in it. They're the feel-good folks, and they exude good energy. It's also called "freudenfreude"- joy in others' joy.
There are actually three Biblical words for curse: kallel, arrur, and kavah.
The first denotes mockery or putting down, the second implies wishing bad things happen to someone, and the third means specifying faults. The third is the one that's used most in this Bilam story- Balak wanted Bilam to itemize the Jews' flaws, thereby weakening them spiritually. But G-d in His love for us, reframed these would-be flaws as affections, reversing the energetic charge.
Kava also means innards, and actually appears again in that context at the end of the Torah portion, when Phineas stabs two rebels in their innards - which could mean either the abdomen or genitals, depending on which commentary you read (see Rashi's commentary there for both).
When you know what's inside someone, that's real access to them, and the power to influence, as a curse or a blessing. The way we opt to view, interpret, relate to, and nurture it, with the "evil eye" or the "good eye" can make all the difference.
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